Oh, how the chapters change
A child, a teenager, an adult to parenthood. Oh, how the chapters change. Life is a journey, a colourful, eventful pathway of exploration, attainment, justification and everything in between. Many of us will go through life in which ever way it takes us, and like a fingerprint- every life path is unique in its own way but generally speaking there are certain milestones that we as a species will share in common. These are the stages of life, from birth through to adolescences, becoming an adult and to those of us who choose to become parents will know all too well, the turn in the balance of life and how the roles have now changed once again. It is now up to you to nurture and guide your offspring through their own milestones. As/If they become parents you are faced with perhaps one of the most rebelieving chapters in your life. You are now a Grandparent.
You‘ve been there, done it, got the t‑shirt and now your children are dropped into the deep depths of parenthood. You now hold a totally different role in life’s hierarchy. Along the way of your own parenthood, you will have learned pearls of wisdom, lessons and tips all which can be passed down to your now grown up child. Here’s a few things to bear in mind when you’re a new or expecting Grandparent.
Roles Reversed
Becoming a grandparent opens a brand-new chapter in your life. Your child is now a parent, and you get to enjoy this pleasurable journey without being in the driver’s seat. You get to love this new little person, nurture him or her, and grow with them, yet without all the responsibility of being a parent. It’s also an opportunity to enrich your relationship with your own child as he/she settles into this new role.
It’s Their Turn Now
You’ve done your bit for them, and now it’s your child’s chance to develop their own. Your job is to support your child as they now experience the joys and challenges of being parents. It is not to bombard them with opinions or make up for any regrets you may have. They will make mistakes just like we did. Be positive, go with the flow, and support your child in this new adventure called parenthood.
Support Their Choices
It’s inevitable that the choices new parents will make might not be the ones you would make. But they are the parents, you’re not. Try not to judge or comment disrespectfully. Be supportive considerate. That means no side discussions with others about how you disagree, no passive aggressive silent reactions, and no secret bathtub baptisms. You would have grumbled if your parents were vocal about your choices. Smile, be supportive, and move on.
Make Time
Your adult now has a new little family member. It’s an exciting time for them and you. Be available, but not suffocating to them. Call ahead to see when it’s a good time to stop by and ask how you can help. They are adjusting to being new parents and need time to be alone with their new child. Don’t take it personally if they need a bit of room now and then. But give your time to your new grandchild, take him/her out for a stroll so your adult child can enjoy some peace and time fo rother things. If you aren’t local you can arrange a weekend to visit or use things like ZOOM and Skype to have video calls with both your Grandchild and to check in on your grown baby!
Damon Robinson
